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Archive for November, 2010

November 11, 2010.

That was the last time you read something from this blog.

I thought that was the last post I would have made.

No, I am not yet dying. No, I am not yet giving up on blogging either.

I am just plain tired. And sad.

My new process has taken a considerable toll on my activities. As the professional accountant in me keeps on pushing me forward, to achieve more than what my predecessors have achieved, the person hiding behind the curtains of the strong façade I keep weeps as he feels the tired muscles, sleepy eyes, and sometimes ill-functioning brain.

As anyone who had taken the course of time management can attest, if you just plainly run out of time, you must learn how to prioritize. Do the things which need to be done first. Sacrifice those which can be sacrificed.

And sadly, blogging was one at the bottom of the list.

And I paid a price for it, I know.

I grew even more listless, frustrated, cranky. Yes, I delivered the results but I lost track of the things that keep me sane.

As anyone whose Facebook, Twitter or WordPress account nearly once died can attest, in order for you to keep a balanced, time-managed life, activities should be sorted out between those which NEED to be done and those you WANT to be done, and get equal amounts of work done on both categories.

With that and for that, I am back!

I am so back in what I want to be done.

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I am a very intelligent person.

I know things a normal guy my age would not know – the difference between a Bactrian from a Dromedary camel ; the migration behavior of wildebeests ; the reason why Mona Lisa escaped the Nazi pilferage.

I also know the things people tell behind my back. I also know who will spill the beans and who will take the secret to their graves. I know the interests some people are protecting. And I know, sometimes, I am the sacrificial lamb.

A friend once said that education, therefore knowledge, eradicates poverty. I firmly believe this. My knowledge of things people of my age and educational background are not expected to know has allowed me push beyond boundaries.

But this knowledge has, to certain extent, imprisoned me.

Truth hurts and what you do not know won’t hurt you.

I know, right?

However, the more you know, the more you want to ask questions.

Why not me? Why him? Why didn’t you? Why won’t you?

But the very fact that moves you to ask more has hurt you so much you no longer have the motivation to move forward. And you know, whatever will be the answer to those questions will just hurt you, whether they be the truth or lie.

For apparently, it’s too late.

Which puts time in the equation. Knowledge learned in a timely manner surely helps the person. But information given at a later time nullifies its effects.

Was there malice in the delay? Did someone unintentionally withhold it? Why was it kept secret for so long? For so much despite the fact that I have a right to know?

Today, more than ever, I know more. I should be able to use what I know to be a better person. To survive the competition. To make the right decisions.

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