Posts Tagged ‘growing old’

When Age Matters

Nurse : Do you smoke?
Me : No.
Nurse : Do you drink alcohol?
Me : No.
Friend : Do you go to bars to hang out?
Me : No.
Friend : Do you work out in a gym?
Me : No.
Driver : Can I listen to loud music while driving, sir?
Me : No.

My answers to these questions all show I lost touch with youth. Or what society considers as youthful. If I answer at least one ‘yes’ to any of the questions above, I would feel really young. But I don’t.

I was a young kid, not even attending school yet, when I admired my older cousins and their taste for clothes and music and wished I was a lot older.

I was in sixth grade when I no longer wore my school uniform but instead went to school in shirts and jeans (it was a public school so it was allowed) and pretended to be a college student.

I was in sophomore highschool, two years short of the legal age, when I started watching R-18 movies in cinemas and no one asked for an ID!

I was in senior year in college when I admired those people pushing carts filled with groceries to the cashier and wished I was old enough to work and afford such things.

I was in my first year of work when I wished I was older upon seeing the success of my boss.

Now, I am in my late twenties, will reach even the latter part of twenties in less than a month. I already have what I wished for – the taste in clothes, the money to afford some things I need, the success in my work – but I feel so old.

Did you ever have that feeling that you grew up too fast? Too quickly? I feel that I did. That I trained myself to think like an older person. That my actions betray my age.

Some people who are old and yet act as if they’re still teens (I mean those people who are really old but act immaturely) have nothing different from me who am still young by some people’s standards but act as if I am in my late forties.

I feel that I am running out of time. That I once wished that time be so fast for me to grow up at once but only wish that time would slow down after.

The sad part is – I know I am not running out of time. That I am still in my youth. That I am still, technically, in the yuppie category.

But I could no longer relate to what young people do.

I do not see the sense in hanging out at night and drinking your heart’s desire. I do not see the sense of listening to loud music when your only time to sleep is the travel from your office to your home. I do not see the sense why should I bother working out in gyms when I could spend time with my dogs and plants.

I am not even mentioning the lines around my eyes when I laugh too hard.

But I am obviously fretting over my age.

The crowd in the office is getting younger and younger, lots of fresh graduates to train, and lots of older people acting like fresh graduates! I feel so different!

Should I start hanging out with older people (James, do not give me that look – this is not about me finding older men sexier) so I could relate? So I could be the younger one?

I’ll be 28 in less than a month, but I look like 38 and think like 48.

Well, I think this is a job for Shiseido eye cream!


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